The days following a birth are up and down, so Jessica tells me. Some days it’s all, “I love my baby!!! I love my kids!!! I love my husband!!!” while on occasional days the smallest criticism can provoke tears. Jessica was feeling good and feisty today. She was also tired of sitting inside and so decided to brave our neighbourhood streetside vegetable market for the first time since giving birth — with our 9-day-old son in a Ergo carrier.
She knew it’d be pushing the buttons of every Chinese auntie and grannie in sight and generate non-stop commentary from the moment she stepped out the door (because she’s done it before), but she didn’t care. Besides, it’s not like she hasn’t already been accused of being an evil stepmother. ;)
Here’s what she was repeatedly criticized for during her fifteen minutes in the market:
- being outside
- bringing the baby outside
- wearing short sleeves (it’s 20’C and sunny at the end of May)
- buying tomatoes (they’re a “Cold” food, as in Traditional Chinese Medicine theory “Cold”; eating “Cold” things is exactly what post-partum women aren’t supposed to do)
- being so thin and losing weight since the birth (how much weight exactly?)
- being too active during pregnancy and not eating the right things (and that’s why he’s so small) (he was 3kg at birth)
She opted not to mention that we’d already been to Beijing and back for an embassy run. ;)
This is our third time to have an infant in China, so none of this is a big deal and it’s completely understandable. It’s certainly not our first time to draw a crowd with a foreign baby or receive well-intentioned-but-unsolicited-and-annoyingly-personal criticism (criticism often conveys concern or interest in China; it’s not usually meant to be mean). But it’s still kind of funny, especially because her sister-in-law is here from the States to help out — a ‘fresh’ foreigner encountering China for the first time.
Way back when we were preparing to bring our first infant to China, Australian friends who’d had their kid in China around the time ours was born in Canada sent us a list of everything we had to look forward to/brace ourselves for. It’s still funny (and full of valuable information)!
Links in this post:
- 关心 talk: so offensive it’s funny
- How to scandalize your Chinese neighbours: Evil stepmother edition
- A Foreign Baby in Tianjin Pt. 1 – is this our future?
- Foreign baby in China essentials: FRIENDLY STRANGER FINGER SHIELD
- Recent market conversations…
- Foreign Baby in China (category)
- Chinese Medicine: Getting a Clue