A is for Alphabet. B is for Beer. C is for China. D is for Doomed.
I thought it was curious that my adult students in Tianjin didn’t seem to “get” rhyming. I taught a series based on Dr. Seuss books, but the whole rhyming concept seemed new to them — like they just couldn’t hear it somehow. Now, as a preschool English “teacher”, I think I may have uncovered the source of this mystery.
The most popular beers in the world are ones you’ve probably never even heard of. Because China just has that many beer drinkers. But beer is not the point. Apply the beer situation to the English language, specifically, the ABC song, or as it’s known in China, the “ABC字母歌“。 It’s like they felt they needed to correct our poor allocation of syllables or something:
Seriously, walk into the nearest Chinese preschool, sing the first line and watch what happens. Or listen to this, which lives in our school’s classroom computers. Is it not appalling?[audio:https://chinahopelive.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ABCs-the-WRONG-version.mp3]
But if 2 billion Chinese kids learn it “wrong” and a measly 500 million Anglo-American kids learn it “right”, the “right” version doesn’t stand a chance.
Chinese beer will rule the beer world. And so will Chinese English. By sheer force of numbers. Western civilization is doomed.