Chinese mothers (and teachers) are infamous for using harsh and constant negative reinforcement in the form of criticism, comparison, and shaming to motivate their children. One of the most truly bi-cultural people we know has a recent blog post where she considers the loaded question: “Is criticism from Chinese mothers a display of genuine love?” You can read it here: Criticism.
“This is a personal topic for me to tackle because I have my own Christian convictions as well as Western influences (not to mention a bit of a badass personality) which makes it VERY difficult for me to handle criticism from my elders. I especially believe as a follower of Jesus, I am responsible to fight against the injustice of a patriarchal society and stand up for my own value as a Chinese woman, rejecting harmful words for myself, for my daughter, and for all the beautiful girls of this culture. However, outsiders to this culture must be hesitant to judge before listening and understanding the vast commitments Chinese families have towards each other.”
For more about family in China, explore Cindy’s blog or browse our related topics: