By way of explanation…

Well, it’s Chou-chou here again. My apologies for, and a brief explanation of, my long absence in posting on the big cat’s blog. It began this summer, when the big cats departed for Cat-nada, leaving me to room with Doodoo. In spite of his hairlessness, Doodoo actually turned out to be a pretty decent old chap (a little stuffy, but otherwise alright). We actually got along pretty well. However, we didn’t want his big cats to suspect that we might be okay roomies, so we put up a good show of dislike and held a perpetual stand-off between us. Apparently, we were pretty convincing too….within three days, I had been returned to my own home, under the care of a new big cat.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the new big cat prefers dogs and birds and was not-so-fond of small cats. She was okay, but I sank into a depression that didn’t lift until my own big cats returned from the far reaches of Cat-nada. I didn’t even write any haiku during this time period, and my opinion pieces were decidedly dark and satirical in nature. Overall, I would’ve preferred to stay with Doodoo. What a relief when the big cats returned, and I was able to resume my rightful sleeping place in their bed and have my every need attended to by cat-lovers. I whined at them for almost a month solid, as a means of claiming my revenge for having been left so long. Eventually, we all got settled back into our old patterns and routines. It was wonderful and I started to contemplate my next post on the blog.

However, believe it or not, this has been my first opportunity to sneak onto the blog in months! The big cats were MAJOR computer hogs from September all the way through December, claiming that they had too much homework. HA! I know the truth…I saw both of them playing on kittenwar.com multiple times. To their credit, they were trying to find my picture, and vote me as cutest kitten in the world. Not that a vote is needed, as the truth is self-evident…but I appreciate their loyalty. The amount of whining I’ve had to put up with from them has been insufferable, and definitely a testimony to my patient and tolerant nature. Most other cats would’ve shredded their books, chewed their computer cables, or slashed their faces while they were sleeping in an attempt to make the whining stop.

Recently, there has been another new cat added to the house. This kitten is a little odd….hardly a proper tail, sneezes all the time (especially under the blankets at night), and what a name! “Fire Chicken,” said in any language, is hardly a proper name for a kitten. But what can you expect from big cats that named me after the aroma of a certain popular food here in Taiwan? I really think they need to learn more Chinese, so that they can begin picking better names for their small cats. Anyway, after an initiation period, in which I had to teach the new kitten everything of importance (tail chasing, playing, covering one’s evidence in the litter box, proper form for haiku), I’ve decided she’s okay (though I’m not sharing the password to the blog). I’m not sure how permanent the arrangement is for her to live here, but for now she keeps me company while the big cats are away all day long. Plus, I now have somebody closer to my own size to wrestle with and bite. It’s kind of fun tearing around the house and stomping all over the big cats while they’re trying to sleep.

So that’s an account of my life for the last few months. Thanks to my loyal readers who kept inquiring as to my whereabouts. Don’t forget to vote for me on kittenwar.com. As a Christmas gift to you, here are two haiku. One from my poetic prodigy, Fire Chicken, and one from myself.

Here is Fire Chicken’s (she shows promise, doesn’t she?):

drily, lion sneezes
faintly, ripples sink idly
moistly moistly, loose

I think that one has to do with her stealthy, slimy sneezes on the big cats at night under the blankets. And here’s my own, an attempt to reflect the peaceful holiday ambience of our household, now that the big cats have stopped their whining and Fire Chicken is keeping me company. Here goes:

peaceful green early
rogue claws, grateful images meow
smiling kittens play

Happy Holidays!