Aroma and finess

We fed our children something for snack time out of packages that read:

Open the pack, its rich fragrance shall make the last but a lasting impression on you. The delicious taste and crisp quality can’t help you but having it bite by bite, truly, it’s worth tasting!

Such of these serial nice cakes of CTC different delicious tastes shall meet your appetite, the kind or piece each is full of aroma and finess, welcome to taste it and compare it with others, all of the cake are under a strict quality control for serving your taste, kindly give us your advice by consumer teleline or by mail for our betterment, thanks.

Now, I realize that when we start our language learning we’ll say stuff way worse than this, and we promise to post it (if they ever clue us in as to what we’re actually saying). But either way, I guess if English teaching doesn’t pan out there are always other places to peddle our English abilities.

7 thoughts on “Aroma and finess”

  1. Not that native English-speakers are much better — have you read man first-year university essays? Disheartening, to say the least, but often entertaining.

    Even better are the descriptions on shampoo bottles and any other “beauty product”. Absotluely outrageous. The number of adjectives the cram into each bottle is a superhuman feat, especially since most of them don’t actually exist. “The active citrus proteins volumize while adding gloriously passionate coloured highlights of wonderousness.”

    Who needs Chinglish when we have the cosmetics industry.

  2. Hey Darren, nice to have you drop in.

    Not that native English-speakers are much better have you read many first-year university essays? Disheartening, to say the least, but often entertaining.

    The guy that took the top grade in my freshman English class was a pre-engineering student from Malaysia. Grammatically perfect English. (The Canadian was #2.) He also kicked my tail in badminton even though he was way out of shape – superior technique and positioning. Dang engineers.

    As a G.A. for two semesters I had to grade papers for an upper-level elective, and I still don’t know how some of those kids ever made it out of junior high. No wait- I do: Football… in Texas. I don’t know what the girls used for an excuse.

    Still, I’ve never seen any abused English that tops the stories I’ve heard from various Westerners who moved overseas and learned to teach in a foreign language. Apparently massive public embarrassment is a unavoidable part of the gig. Here, the word for “lord” and “pig” only differ by tone. I’m sure our day is coming.

  3. One family friend of ours whose work involved deaf people and American Sign Language (ASL) translation early on in his career spoke for 20 minutes about the Israelite potato. “Potato” and “nation” are very close in ASL.

    When I was in Germany and typing up a German-English booklet, I got my “i”s and “e”s transposed. The first one was right… alas, the mistake was repeated three times though. English translation = Love, body, body, body….

    Very embarrassing.

    Finally, I have a friend from Singapore (now a professor of ancient Near Eastern languages at Princeton TS) who said a tone deaf American in Singapore used to preach about a dead horse. It wasn’t his intent to speak about horses, obviously.

    You’ll both have some good stories soon. ;-)

  4. heh – no kidding. It’s like tones were designed just to get entertainment value out of English speakers. It’s not a hard concept, or even hard to hear them and use. It is hard to all at one time remember the tone, pronunciation, and meaning all from memory. The tone is an extra memory step compared to our language. I wonder if it’s just something you have to absorb over time to really get.

  5. Brian…

    (suspicious)….have you been spying on our classroom? You just did a dead-on imitation of at least one of our kids! Hmmm.(=

    -Jessica

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