It’s time for all the university sophomores in Tianjin to do their mandatory military training. According to my students, this means they have to buy a super-low-quality blue camouflage uniform (the seats split on several of my student’s classmates when they sat down) and march around in formation all day for a week or two. According to what we hear and see out our windows in the sports field beside our apartment, it means a lot of goose-stepping and yelling one-two-three-four. My students didn’t like doing it but said it made them more patriotic.

I didn’t set out to go get a picture, but we were out taking a walk happened upon a … squadron? … doing their drills. Here’s a shot of the young ladies:

I asked my students about it and this immediately led to a common and annoying language problem that plagues both English speakers learning Chinese and Chinese speakers learning English.

Basically, in everyday Mandarin it’s context rather than grammar that determines the difference between “they made me” and “they let me.” My EFL students routinely say things like, “My boss let me work late yesterday” or “they always let us work overtime” because in their heads they’re thinking in Chinese, and in Chinese they’d use the same verb to express both of the above concepts (ordering sb. to do something and allowing sb. to do something). A student today tried to tell me that the drill sergeants “let them” stand very still for a long time, so I hammered out some sentences with her and double-checked with my Chinese coworkers:

The military training officer doesn’t let us (让) talk or look around.
教官不让我们说话或者左顾右盼。
jiàoguān búràng wǒmen shuōhuà huòzhě zuǒgùyòupàn.

The military training officer makes us (让) goose-step for a long time.
教官让我们踢很长时间正步。
jiàoguān ràng wǒmen tī hěn cháng shíjiān zhèngbù.

Sure, people could use other words to say it more specifically, but they don’t! They just say “让” and expect you to know what they mean from the situation. If I try to use more specific words when speaking Chinese, it comes off sounding funny because usually they wouldn’t bother in most situations. Like much of China, that’s just how it is; you can like it, you can leave it, but you’re not gonna change it.

It’s time for all the university sophomores in Tianjin to do their mandatory military training. According to my students, this means they have to buy a super-low-quality blue camouflage uniform (the seats split on several of my student’s classmates when they sat down) and march around in formation all day for a week or two. According to what we hear and see out our windows in the sports field beside our apartment, it means a lot of goose-stepping and yelling one-two-three-four. My students didn’t like doing it but said it made them more patriotic.

I didn’t set out to go get a picture, but we were out taking a walk happened upon a … squadron? … doing their drills. Here’s a shot of the young ladies:

I asked my students about it and this immediately led to a common and annoying language problem that plagues both English speakers learning Chinese and Chinese speakers learning English.

Basically, in everyday Mandarin it’s context rather than grammar that determines the difference between “they made me” and “they let me.” My EFL students routinely say things like, “My boss let me work late yesterday” or “they always let us work overtime” because in their heads they’re thinking in Chinese, and in Chinese they’d use the same verb to express both of the above concepts (ordering sb. to do something and allowing sb. to do something). A student today tried to tell me that the drill sergeants “let them” stand very still for a long time, so I hammered out some sentences with her and double-checked with my Chinese coworkers:

The military training officer doesn’t let us (让) talk or look around.
教官不让我们说话或者左顾右盼。
jiàoguān búràng wǒmen shuōhuà huòzhě zuǒgùyòupàn.

The military training officer makes us (让) goose-step for a long time.
教官让我们踢很长时间正步。
jiàoguān ràng wǒmen tī hěn cháng shíjiān zhèngbù.

Sure, people could use other words to say it more specifically, but they don’t! They just say “让” and expect you to know what they mean from the situation. If I try to use more specific words when speaking Chinese, it comes off sounding funny because usually they wouldn’t bother in most situations. Like much of China, that’s just how it is; you can like it, you can leave it, but you’re not gonna change it.

“…she’ll get diarrhea.”

That’s right: diarrhea. :)

(This message brought to you this evening by our friendly Tianjin neighbourhood dumpling ladies and traditional Chinese medicine.)

More about free Chinese advice and ‘compliments’:

• 关心-talk: so offensive it’s funny
• No offensive

More about having a foreign baby in China:

• Foreign Baby in Tianjin Pt. 2 — a rock star in the family
• Diary of a Worm in Chinese! (an English / 汉字 / pīnyīn online read-along)
• Foreign baby in China essentials: FRIENDLY STRANGER FINGER SHIELD
• A Foreign Baby in Tianjin Pt. 1 – is this our future?

More about Chinese medicine:

• Don’t eat that! You’ll get ‘wind’ in your ‘stomach’!
• Fire-Cupping & Guasha for Dummies
• Chinese Medicine: Getting a Clue (Part 1)
• Chinese Doctor Visit

We’re playing a Taboo-style English exercise where I give a student a word and she has to make her classmates guess it, but she can’t say the word or certain specified related words. I give one mid-20′s female student Japanese, along with China and island.

“Who do we all hate?”
“Japanese!”

It was the fastest correct guess all class.

For more about common Mainlander feelings toward the Japanese, see:

• Why they hate the Japanese

We’re playing a Taboo-style English exercise where I give a student a word and she has to make her classmates guess it, but she can’t say the word or certain specified related words. I give one mid-20′s female student Japanese, along with China and island.

“Who do we all hate?”
“Japanese!”

It was the fastest correct guess all class.

For more about common Mainlander feelings toward the Japanese, see:

• Why they hate the Japanese

Have we ever seen this woman before? Nope. And did she just come up, start touching our kid’s face and try to make her smile? Of course!

This is routine whenever we take Lilia out for walks. A friendly stranger or two (or ten) will often stop to try and make her smile, and that often involves touching. Younger people like the girl in these photos tend to be gentler than middle-aged and older women, at least in our experience. We have some neighbourhood committee ladies who talk so loud when they’re trying to get a reaction out of Lilia that they make her scared; they pretty much yell in her face, but not intentionally — that’s just how they talk all day long. Those kinds of folks also tend to play a little rougher with the way the pinch legs and touch cheeks.

Obviously we don’t let the general public manhandle our daughter, but since it’s so expected that any friendly person can play with a stranger’s baby, and since “foreign dolls” (洋娃娃) are such an attraction, we try to be as accommodating as we can while still protecting Lilia. As you can see, she likes it sometimes.

I’ve only had to directly physically block someone’s hand once, when a woman who honestly looked like a KTV prostitute tried to stick her finger in Lilia’s mouth on the Beijing subway. People don’t understand when you bat their fingers away, but there’s no way I’m letting random people stick there fingers in our daughter’s mouth, regardless of whether or not they’re dressed like a xiǎojiě (小姐)! Same goes for anyone who seems like they might be too rough. I use as much finesse and tact as I can, of course (we indirectly block people all the time), but obviously we’re willing to cause offense if we have to to protect our daughter. Those kinds of situations are very rare, however, and most people are great, wanting to coo over a baby like people do anywhere… just maybe a little more so.

Other stuff about having a foreign baby in China:

• Our friends the rock stars
• A Foreign Baby in Tianjin Pt. 1 – is this our future?
• Foreign baby in China essentials: IMPORTED BABY FORMULA
• Foreign baby in China essentials: FACEBOOK SUBSTITUTE (or VPN) & SKYPE
• Foreign baby in China essentials: FRIENDLY STRANGER FINGER SHIELD

For some Chinese people, that stuff we hear about in the news or read about in history textbooks is real life.

I’m sitting in the office with a student. Students often come in to chat during office hours — this one’s in her early 20′s. She asked about us planning to eventually have another child, and then started casually telling me how she “was supposed to have a little brother” but the government wouldn’t allow them to “so they just killed it” in the second or third month of pregnancy. She says she doesn’t know the details, but “at that time it was very strict” and they couldn’t just choose to pay the fine for breaking the One Child Policy and have their second child (like some of my other, richer and better-connected students have). Then she went on wondering what it would have been like to have a brother.

It makes sense that she’s talking about it so casually. I’ve read enough about China (and heard enough of those horrible radio ads for “3-minute” “painless” abortions: “Oh no! I’m pregnant! But I just started a new job — what about my career?” “Don’t worry about it! You can just…”) to understand how these kinds of situations are so common that regular people like my student naturally talk about it like it’s no big deal. Of course, the fact that a person could discuss this kind of situation so nonchalantly only demonstrates just how extra horrible it is; the brutality is not just barbaric, it’s also commonplace.

It’s always interesting when the things you read about in the news and in history books suddenly appear before you in the life of someone you know. Like a sudden reminder that no matter how well we get along, the world my students come from is very, very different from my own.

A similar reminder happened in class two days ago — that’s two days before June sixth, a major but unmarked anniversary (I promise you know what happened in China on that day, even if you don’t recognize the date). I was facilitating a free talk session with about fifteen students. One of them was 32 years old and living in Tianjin in nineteen eighty-nine, another was 19 and living in Shanghai. Others were only children at the time, while some weren’t born yet. All they wanted to do was talk about the event, about what they remembered, what happened in their cities and what they saw — none of them were sympathetic to the gov. I wanted so bad to ask so many questions, but if it came out that I instigated or encouraged discussion of that particular topic I’d be risking trouble with my employer. I tried to steer the discussion elsewhere several times, and the students kept bringing it back. Anyway, it was interesting to see history come alive in memories and stories of my students. It’s easy to talk with them everyday and forget that they’ve experienced some crazy stuff and have all kinds of stories to tell.

Related stuff:

• Chinese Academy of Social Sciences publishes the latest and most negative data on sex-selective abortion in China
• Famous Chinese novelist writes on the enforcement of China’s family planning policy
• What can happen to a 6-month illegally pregnant women in China
• ‘Painless abortion’ and ‘female surgery’ ad campaign hits Chinese university campus
• October’s propaganda: anti-”gendercide”
• Free Baby Accessories, compliments of Tianjin & the One Child Policy

One of my students, mid-40′s, manager, mom to an elementary aged son, this week during class:

“I like watching Desperate Housewives. I used to think Americans are all selfish and don’t care about others. But now I think they do care about others because the wives in Desperate Housewives always help each other.”

“Really? But you know the stuff on T.V. isn’t always real.”

“Of course, but I think Desperate Housewives is like the real America. Americans are like this.”

One of my students, mid-40′s, manager, mom to an elementary aged son, this week during class:

“I like watching Desperate Housewives. I used to think Americans are all selfish and don’t care about others. But now I think they do care about others because the wives in Desperate Housewives always help each other.”

“Really? But you know the stuff on T.V. isn’t always real.”

“Of course, but I think Desperate Housewives is like the real America. Americans are like this.”

Long, long ago in course called Spiritual Development of Children, our prof criticized The Giving Tree for promoting unhealthy male-female relationships. The tree is female, and in relationship to the male just gives and gives and gives until she/it has nothing left to give but a stump for the old man to sit on, while the male just takes and takes and takes until he’s too old to take anything else. I can see her point, but hopefully having this book on our bookshelf when we were kids hasn’t turned me into calloused selfish misogynist. ;) As a kid I can remember thinking that the tree was really nice, though I wasn’t sure what kind of relationship it was supposed to represent. Anyway, one of our students did a presentation on The Giving Tree this week for an English competition, and I thought her interpretation of the story was interesting. (You can watch the story, read by author Shel Silverstein, here or below.)

My student didn’t know that it was a well-known English children’s book. The story, unattributed and in various forms with various titles, is apparently floating around the Chinese internet (she used this version, called “Boy and Tree Story”). In her English version for the performance, the boy sells the tree’s apples to buy toys, chops off the branches to build a house, chops down the trunk to build a boat so he can go sailing and relax, and finally as an old man returns to sit on the stump, where he smiles with tears in his eyes. She acted out the story with some classmates and then gave this speech:

This is a story of everyone. The tree likes our parents. When we were young, we loved to play with mom and dad…… When we grown up, we left them, we just came to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy. You may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that how all of us are treating our parents. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who are in fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

I thought it was interesting that she saw it as representing child-parent relationships. It makes sense, but as a kid growing up with this book I’d never thought of the story in that way. Coincidentally, a different student in an unrelated class told me about “gnawing the old” (啃老), which, according to her, refers to the way adult children still depend on their parents. The image on the right is one that came up when I googled the Chinese term.

(P.S. — I don’t understand why Chinese EFL students insist on including platitudes or vaguely profound inspirational sayings in everything, but that last line of her speech is very typical. So was playing Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up.”) YouTube video below: