Healthiness & the Passive-Aggressive Window Game: Chinese vs. Laowai

When we first arrived in China it was early spring, and we quickly discovered it was standard for people to wear three or more pairs of pants. Indoors. I assumed it was because they had to, because they couldn’t afford decent heating or the facilities and infrastructure were just too old. Haha, silly foreigner… that’s “using Western thinking to understand China”! This is China — there’s more to it than that.

The Passive-Aggressive Window Game

I want to switch out this picture for one showing my coworkers in the office, wearing their winter clothes, scarves, everything, next to a heater that’s not on and a window that’s not closed, complaining that it’s cold, while a guy walks by outside with a cloth mask over his mouth and nose because he’s protecting against the cold wind.

To my Western sensibilities, the scene is mildly insane. It’s cold and windy, people! Shut the windows and turn on the heaters that are in every single room, and we won’t have to wear our outside clothes inside! If you’re afraid of cold wind outside, why are you inviting it inside? Why did you deliberately turn our workspace into a near-freezing wind tunnel?

I’m all for creative responses to culture stress, so I’m conducting an informal and surreptitious sociological experiment. On my Chinese coworkers.

Now that winter is officially over but it’s still cold, during most of March at work we play the passive-aggressive window game. They open the windows wide — of course you should open the windows wide on cold and windy days. Parents will complain if they don’t. So we’re all freezing. But when no one’s looking, I walk by and, with numbed fingers, shut the windows. And after a couple classes, someone’s opened them again. So I wait until no one’s looking and shut them again. Just to see what will eventually happen. Will they catch on? Will I get caught in the act? What will they say? It’s exciting, no? :)

I can see not turning the heat on as a practical thing: everyone has to wear several layers just to survive the commute to work and changing would be inconvenient, homes might not be well-heated, heating costs money for the school, and the wiring can’t handle even half the heaters at one time. But none of that explains opening the windows and deliberately creating a draft in every classroom and office.

What do you mean, ‘Why?’? Isn’t it obvious?

To someone with no understanding of traditional Chinese medicine, what Chinese often do for the sake of health makes absolutely no sense; it’s maddeningly contradictory. And one of many areas within this health disconnect that we perennially encounter involves temperature and “wind.” For example, “wind” and “cold” are bad. Do not serve a Chinese person a glass of refrigerated water — that’s practically criminally negligent; give them hot water, even (especially) when it’s hot outside. If you drink cold water you’ll get diarrhea, unless it’s winter — then you can eat ice cream outside. But I don’t care if it’s summertime: if you don’t put socks on that baby she’ll get diarrhea!

And do not eat an apple outside on a windy day, unless you want to be guānxīn-ed about your health: “You’ll get ‘wind’ in your ‘stomach’!” Unless you’re provoking your local friends on purpose, like one foreign coworker I had who once faced the wind and opened her mouth wide to deliberately swallow as much wind as she could just to get a reaction from our adult students. But don’t expect a comfortable temperature indoors, even when it’s possible and affordable. Like fearing cold water, they also fear still air. Air must move, or else when we get old, we’ll die, or something. It doesn’t matter if it’s single-digit Celsius outside and windy; they will deliberately turn your school hallways and classrooms into wind tunnels. And then they’ll wear their winter coats and scarves inside and talk about how cold it is. It’s healthier.

If that seems like a deliberately disorganized jumble of anecdotes, that’s because it is. That’s how you first encounter traditional Chinese healthiness when you move over here. You don’t get a systematic introduction to traditional Chinese medicine; you get random comments at meals (“No thanks, my fire’s up”), coworkers who keep turning off the air conditioning in summer (空调!), and unsolicited advice about not wearing shorts in the spring (you’ll get arthritis when you’re old). Sorting that all out and making sense of it is your job.

Healthiness with Chinese characteristics

People usually don’t do things for no reason. Maybe you don’t agree with their reasons or don’t understand their reasons, or maybe their reasons are objectively bad. But most of the time their reasons make sense, at least according to their own terms. The deliberate early spring wind tunnel even makes some degree of sense to foreigners: it’s flu season, especially in a school, so they want to keep the air indoors fresh by ventilating 通风换气。Anyone who’s crossed the ocean in an airplane shared with sneezing coughing snuffling people should be able to appreciate this.

But health is often one of several huge areas of cultural disconnect between China and its resident laowais, of total misunderstanding and mutual scandalization. How wide is the disconnect? One coworker, after observing our daughter and how we handled her, theorized in all seriousness that the reason foreigners don’t care about their kids’ health as much as Chinese parents is because foreigners can have as many kids as they want. If we mess one or two up, no biggie — we can always have more! (To be fair, the other coworker in the conversation disagreed. Plus, it’s not uncommon for foreigners to basically make the same kind of accusation against Chinese. Remember: we’re mutually scandalizing.)

“Chinese medicine” 中医 as “the general Chinese understanding and approach to health” (rather than meaning “Chinese herbs” 中药 like ginseng or “techniques” like fire-cupping) is near impossible for Westerners to understand. The concepts are extremely difficult to express within our languages and worldview because they are so thoroughly tied to Chinese worldview, philosophy and thought categories. The Web That Has No Weaver, a book that attempts to explain Chinese medicine while appreciating the difficulty, begins with Chinese philosophy, not biology. If you read a description of Chinese medicine that you understand right away, then either you’re Chinese or what you’re reading is not a description of Chinese medicine; the meaning was lost in translation.

P.S. – “ventilating the air” to help combat flu season is the reason our youngest and most cosmopolitan employee gave me. But there’s another reason that’s probably at least as relevant: avoiding drastic changes in temperature. It’s not considered healthy to move from cold to hot or vice versa, to put cold things in your body when you’re warm, etc. People’s body temperature stays more consistent when they bundle up inside rather than making inside warm. This thinking is behind eating ice cream outside in the winter, and behind the story a friend told us yesterday explaining why she has bad cramping every month: when she was around 13 she got hot and sweaty from sports one day and went to take a shower. But the water came out really cold, suddenly dousing and chilling her over-heated body. She was on one of her first periods at the time. And that’s why she now has bad cramping every month.

So I’m in this Chinese girl band…

I’m not just a Chinese preschool rockstar; I now have a band. A girl band. A Chinese girl band. A Chinese girl band composed entirely of preschool teachers. And we are not above using the electric piano’s preprogrammed auto-chording rhythm feature thingy.

Working for a Chinese company gives opportunities to perform — and I mean like song-and-dance perform — that you typically don’t get at the average North American job. For example, at the year-end banquet it’s common for every department in a company to put on some sort of performance. Lots of singing along to pop tracks at the very least. It’s actually more of an obligation than an opportunity; it means bad vibes if you cry off participating.

Chinese love karaoke (KTV). They practice beforehand, and when they go they’ll easily stay for four, five or six hours singing the cheesiest pop lyrics and melodies you can imagine. And the practice shows. Have whatever stereotype of mild-mannered, bespectacled bookworm Chinese you want, but you haven’t seen China until you’ve seen said bespectacled office drones rocking out in a KTV lounge like they are the Chinese incarnation of Whitney Houston. It’s not what you’d expect from the impressions and stereotypes that float around, but in my experience the average Chinese tends to be less inhibited than the average cripplingly self-conscious and cool-anxious, irony-plagued North American when it comes to public performance.

Our school has a New Year’s Show, a Children’s Day Show, and a Teacher Show — those are the one’s I’ve discovered so far anyway. And it’s normal for teachers and parents to be involved in a couple performances even for the kids’ shows.

So here’s the song and lyrics some of my coworkers picked to cover for the Teacher Show (performed for the parents and grandparents of our 200+ students) — our first and most likely final performance. :)

相信 by


(Better quality version here.)

想飞上天和太阳肩并肩 / xiǎng fēishàng tiān hé tàiyáng jiānbìngjiān
Want to fly up to heaven and be shoulder to shoulder with the sun

世界等着我去改变/ shìjiè děngzhe wǒ qù gaibiàn
The world is waiting for me to go change (it)

想做的梦从不怕别人看见 / xiǎng zuòde mèng cóngbù pà biérén kànjiàn
Want to have a dream and not fear that other people will see

在这里我都能实现 / zài zhèlǐ wǒ dōu néng shíxiàn
Here I can achieve all of this

大声欢笑让你我肩并肩 / dàshēng huānxiào ràng nǐ wǒ jiānbìngjiān
Laughing loudly let us be should to shoulder

何处不能欢乐无限 / héchù bùnéng huānlè wúxiàn
Wherever there’s not infinite joy

抛开烦恼 勇敢的大步向前 / pāokāi fánnǎo yǒnggǎnde dàbù xiàngqián
Throw out worries, go forward with brave strides

我就站在舞台中间 / wǒ jiù zhàn zài wǔtái zhōngjiān
I just stand in the middle of the stage

[Chorus]

我相信我就是我,我相信明天 / wǒ xiāngxìn wǒ jiùshì wǒ, wǒ xiāngxìn míngtiān
I believe I’m me, I believe in tomorrow

我相信青春没有地平线 / wǒ xiāngxìn qīngchūn méiyǒu dìpíngxiàn
I believe youth has no horizon

在日落的海边,在热闹的大街 / zài rìluòde hǎibiān, zài rènǎode dàjiē
At the sun-setting seaside, on the bustling street

都是我心中最美的乐园 / dōu shì wǒ xīnzhōng zuìměide lèyuán
Both are the happiest paradise of my heart

我相信自由自在,我相信希望 / wǒ xiāngxìn zìyóuzìzài, wǒ xiāngxìn xīwàng
I believe in carefree freedom, I believe in hope

我相信伸手就能碰到天 / wǒ xiāngxìn shēnshǒu jiù néng pèngdào tiān
I believe you can stretch out your hand and reach heaven

有你在我身边 让生活更新鲜 / yǒu nǐ zài wǒ shēnbiān ràng shēnghuó gèng xīnxiān
Having you at my side makes life fresher

每一刻都精采万分,I do believe / měi yíkè dōu jīngcǎi wànfēn
Every moment is extremely splendid

Karaoke adventures:

Chinese songs to learn:

[Photo Gallery:] Chinese New Year’s 2013 Dragon Dance, Chinatown, Chiang Mai, Thailand

We were in Chiang Mai, Thailand for Chinese New Year and hit Chinatown on New Year’s Day. So here are some dragon photos and a video! Click a thumbnail to begin.

Over four years in China (five if you count Taiwan), but we’ve only ever seen lion or dragon dances in Canada, Thailand and old Jackie Chan movies.

And of course there’s lots more Chinese New Year/Spring Festival stuff to see!

《恭喜发财》 by 刘德华 – a translated Chinese New Year song to get you in the Spring Festival mood!

There are a handful of songs we hear around as Chinese New Year approaches. This Andy Lau (刘德华) song is the one we notice the most. And it’s fun. Especially if you jump around and sing along with your three-year-old. Overly literal translation below (also fun).

The main Chinese New Year’s greeting is literally, “Congratulations! Get rich!” (恭喜发财), meaning: “May you have a prosperous New Year!” The ‘congratulations’ apparently comes from the ancient New Year’s story, where a monster comes on New Year’s Eve to devour people, so everyone who survives to the next year congratulates one another on their survival. For more about that see:

Homeboy’s from Hong Kong, so even though he’s singing in Mandarin his pronunciation is noticeably different on some words.

恭喜发财 / gōngxǐ fācái / Prosperous New Year!


(If you can’t access YouTube, hear it on Youku.)

耶咿耶咿耶咿耶哦哦 / ye yi ye yi ye yi ye o o
耶咿耶咿耶咿耶哦哦 / ye yi ye yi ye yi ye o o

我恭喜你发财 我恭喜你精彩 / wǒ gōngxǐ nǐ fācái, wo gōngxǐ nǐ jīngcǎi
I congratulate you, get rich! I congratulate you, wonderfulness!
最好的请过来 不好的请走开 / zuìhǎode qǐng guòlái, bùhàode qǐng zǒukāi
(I) invite the best to come over, and the bad to go away
礼多人不怪 / lǐ duō rén bù guài
(When there’s) Much propriety, people aren’t quarrelsome

我祝满天下的女孩 / wǒ zhù mǎn tiānxiàde nǚhái
I wish every girl under heaven
嫁一个好男孩 / jià yīgè hǎo nánhái
will marry a good boy
两小口永远在一块 / liǎng xiǎo kǒu yǒngyuǎn zài yīqǐ
The two will forever be together
我祝满天下的小孩 / wǒ zhù mǎn tiānxiàde xiǎohái
I wish all the children under heaven
聪明胜过秀才 / cōngming shèngguò xiùcai
intelligence to pass the exam to become a scholar
智商充满你脑袋 / zhìshāng chōngmǎn nǐ nǎodài
Your heads filled with IQ

我祝尊敬的姑奶奶 / wǒ zhù zūnjìng de gūnǎinai
I wish revered Great Aunt
三十六圈的比赛 / sānshíliù quān de bǐsài
in a 36-lap race
气不喘面容不改 / qì bù chuǎn miànróng bù gǎi
won’t be out of breath and face won’t flush
我祝三叔公的买卖 / wǒ zhù sān shūgōngde mǎimài
I wish 3rd Great Uncle’s business
生意扬名四海 / shēngyì yángmíngsìhǎi
will become world-famous
财运亨通住豪宅 / cáiyùn hēngtōng zhù háozhái
Your money-making luck will go smoothly and you’ll live in a mansion

大摇大摆 老天替你消灾 / dà yáo dà bǎi, lǎotiān tì nǐ xiāozāi
Swagger about, heaven will help you avoid calamities
恭喜 发财 要喊得够豪迈 / gōngxī fācái, yào hǎnde gòu háomài
Congratulations! Get Rich! (We) will shout it boldly!

恭喜发财! / gōngxǐ fācái
Congratulations! Get rich!
我恭喜你发财 我恭喜你精彩 / wǒ gōngxǐ nǐ fācái, wo gōngxǐ nǐ jīngcǎi
I congratulate you, get rich! I congratulate you, wonderfulness!
最好的请过来 不好的请走开 / zuìhǎode qǐng guòlái, bùhàode qǐng zǒukāi
(I) invite the best to come over, and the bad to go away
礼多人不怪 / lǐ duō rén bù guài
(When there’s) Much propriety, people aren’t quarrelsome

耶咿耶咿耶咿耶哦哦 / ye yi ye yi ye yi ye o o
耶咿耶咿耶咿耶哦哦 / ye yi ye yi ye yi ye o o

我祝大家笑口常开 / wǒ zhù dàjiā xiào kǒu cháng kāi
I wish everyone always has a smiling mouth
用心把爱去灌溉 / yòng xīn bǎ ài qù guàngài
use our hearts to irrigate with love
明天拿我们更厉害 / míngtiān ná wǒmen gèng lìhai
Tomorrow will take us even greater
我祝全世界的无奈 / wǒ zhù quán shìjiède wúnài
I wish all the hopeless matters in the world
跑得比那黑人更快 / pǎode bǐ nà hēi rén gèng kuài
(will) run away faster than a black man
岁岁年年出人才 / suìsuìniánnián chū réncái
Each and every year will produce talented people

大摇大摆 老天替你消灾 / dà yáo dà bǎi, lǎotiān tì nǐ
Swagger about, heaven will help you avoid calamities
恭喜 发财 要喊得够豪迈 / gōngxī fācái, yào hǎnde gòu háomài
Congratulations! Get rich! (We) will shout it boldly!
我恭喜你发财 我恭喜你精彩 / wǒ gōngxǐ nǐ fācái, wo gōngxǐ nǐ jīngcǎi
I congratulate you, get rich! I congratulate you, wonderfulness!
最好的请过来 不好的请走开 / zuìhǎode qǐng guòlái, bùhàode qǐng zǒukāi
(I) invite the best to come over, and the bad to go away
礼多人不怪 / lǐ duō rén bù guài
(When there’s) Much propriety, people aren’t quarrelsome

啊再来 / ā zài lái
Again!
我恭喜你发财 我恭喜你精彩 / wǒ gōngxǐ nǐ fācái, wo gōngxǐ nǐ jīngcǎi
I congratulate you, get rich! I congratulate you, wonderfulness!
最好的请过来 不好的请走开 / zuìhǎode qǐng guòlái, bùhàode qǐng zǒukāi
(I) invite the best to come over, and the bad to go away
礼多人不怪 / lǐ duō rén bù guài
(When there’s) Much propriety, people aren’t quarrelsome
恭喜发财 / gōngxǐ fācái
Congratulations! Get rich!

More Chinese New Year/Spring Festival stuff:

More Chinese songs to learn:

Traditional Chinese Christmas Songs: 《欢乐佳音歌》 & 《圣诞感恩歌》

A couple Christmases ago we shared mp3s of traditional Christmas songs that had been Chinese-ified. This year you get some genuine Chinese Christmas songs, as in songs written by Chinese in Chinese and in a Chinese style, rather than sounding like corrupted English songs. The first song is especially good for language students; it’s so repetitive that you only have to learn four lines.

I tried to find well-produced recordings of arrangements that would sound good to Western ears, but each link below fails on one or both accounts (this is not surprising for a lot of traditional Chinese music). But the point is that it’s a Chinese song anyway, so you get what you get, which in this case is 10000x tamer than the inebriated felines of Beijing opera.

Mouseover the Chinese below to see the pronunciation. My translation is veeery rough.

《欢乐佳音歌》 Joyous Tidings

#83 in the TSPM hymnal (赞美)
Listen: here and here.

欢乐圣诞佳音大家歌唱 耶路撒冷欢呼弥赛亚
Joyous Christmas tidings, everyone come sing, Jerusalem hails the Messiah as King
锡安报道救主降临 耶稣基督甘愿卑贱众人
Zion the whole earth announces the saviour has come,
Jesus Christ willingly humbly rescues everyone

欢乐圣诞佳音大家歌唱 耶路撒冷欢呼弥赛亚
Joyous Christmas tidings, everyone come sing, Jerusalem hails the Messiah as King

欢乐圣诞佳音大家歌唱 耶路撒冷欢呼弥赛亚
Joyous Christmas tidings, everyone come sing, Jerusalem hails the Messiah as King
普世万民传扬降生 赐下救恩信徒蒙恩
All the people in all the world, come spread the news that the Lord is born,
bestowing salvation, multitudes of believers receive profound grace

欢乐圣诞佳音大家歌唱 耶路撒冷欢呼弥赛亚
Joyous Christmas tidings, everyone come sing, Jerusalem hails the Messiah as King

欢乐圣诞佳音大家歌唱 耶路撒冷欢呼弥赛亚
Joyous Christmas tidings, everyone come sing, Jerusalem hails the Messiah as King
信徒大家恭敬献上感谢 哈利路亚天庭
All believers respectfully offer God thankful hearts,
sing hallelujah together with Heaven’s hosts filling Heaven

欢乐圣诞佳音大家歌唱 耶路撒冷欢呼弥赛亚
Joyous Christmas tidings, everyone come sing, Jerusalem hails the Messiah as King

《圣诞感恩歌》 Christmas Thanksgiving

#84 in the TSPM hymnal (赞美)
Listen: here and here.

耶稣人间 世人 / Jesus comes to earth, God loves the people of the world
人类 肉身 / The Lord saves humanity, ‘The Word becomes Flesh’
天使 凡尘 / Angels sing praise, an ode to God who came to earth
浩大 还要 / God’s grace is truly great, even deeper than the ocean

当年降生 牧人闻讯 / When the Lord was born, shepherds heard the news
前往伯利恒 朝拜 / Went ahead to Bethlehem to worship the holy infant
归来无限 报告降生 / Come back with unbounded happiness, reporting the Lord’s birth
全城传开 基督来临 / The whole city spreads the news, Christ has come

救主世界 和平 / The Saviour comes to the world, bestowing on people peace
马槽安身 四周宁静 / In a manger taking shelter, all around is tranquil
我们感谢 佳音 / We give thanks to the Lord, hearing these good tidings
效法三博士 献上 / Imitate the Three Wisemen, offering up hearts of thanks

赞美降生 欢腾 / Praise for the Lord’s birth, universal celebration
我们得着 名分 / We now can have the status of God’s children
生活盼望 从此永生 / Life has hope, from now on enjoying eternal life
美满幸福 鸿 / Blissful and blessed, completely depending on God’s great grace

The coworker who introduced me to these says that both are homegrown Chinese Christmas songs, though I think I hear some traditional Western hymn-i-ness in the second one especially.

Anyway, if you’ve got Chinese Christmas music, please share!

More Christmas music:

For your karaoke repertoire:

Eaves-dropping on Beijingers in Vancouver

Last Friday I started teaching a month-long EFL “Winter Camp” program for nine Beijingers aged 8-13 who arrived the night before. We have English class in the mornings and field trips in the afternoons. They’re all staying with Canadian families and it’s a shocking cultural adventure for them. Almost everything is different. It’s rare to get a group this “fresh”, and I plan to have fun with it.

We’re using a classroom in a posh local private school that is pretty impressive even by Canadian standards, so the facilities and grounds are really nice; they were awed by the interactive white board, for example. But they were also excited just to walk down the hall to the bathroom, armed with their cameras, taking photos of everything from the vending machines to the high school classes in session with their doors open. I’ve taught this kind of EFL gig before, and sometimes the kids have already traveled so much that being in a developed Western country isn’t so special, but not these kids. They’re apparently doing this kind of thing for the first time. I felt like a celebrity in the classroom with all the cameras aimed at me.

I’ve decided to keep the fact that I can speak basic Mandarin a secret from them for as long as I can, so I can listen in on their conversations as much as I can. Between my limited Mandarin, my teaching responsibilities, and the fact that four excited 12-year-old girls babbling away at once is hard to decipher in any language, I don’t get to tune in to their conversations near enough to satisfy my curiosity, never mind pausing to scribble down notes of what I hear. But it’s still funny what I do catch.

Friday morning was their first morning in Canada after their first night and breakfast with a Canadian family. Before class started they were animatedly telling one another about how BIG everything in their homestays’ house is, even the bookshelves. Then they were talking about what they were fed for breakfast and what was packed in their lunches, how it was either gross or they didn’t know what it was. It was funny in its own right, but extra funny to hear the “foreigner” experience in reverse. We’ll see what the next month brings!

Other experiences of teaching Chinese students in Vancouver:

You can browse all of our ESL/EFL teaching post here.

Scene clips & screen stills from “1911″ (we were extras!)

Below are some screen stills and scene clips that some friends and I were extras in for the Jackie Chan/Chinese propaganda film “1911″ 《辛亥革命》.

For some photos from filming and info about the 1911 Revolution, see:

You can see all the photos and screen stills at the photo gallery:

Denver Library scene

1911 movie: Denver Library scene (YouTube)

Sun Zhongshan speech scene

1911 movie: Sun Zhongshan speech (YouTube)

Related stuff: