When it comes to Chinglish, fair is fair

By Joel ~
| Chinglish | Learning Mandarin | Teaching English |

One of my friends in particular loves to practice his Chinglish on me. I in turn refuse to reply in English, opting instead to inflict him with my own Chinglish. For example, he just sent me this text:

Great! man I will going to the shan xi road on this Sunday. I’ll waiting for you at entrance. Time is 10:20am. Don’t be late,man! By the way! Don’t forget one thing. I needs give your lilian add hers cloths. Winter already was coming! I’m a superman. I can’t feel cold. Haha! How interesting! I said. All right then! Good night! Man Wish your baby has a sweet dream! See you soon!

I have no doubt that my Chinese sounds like this sometimes often. It always helps to keep a little perspective!

(P.S. – Friends don’t let friends use Grand Theft Auto to study English.)


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What’s in a (Chinglish) name? I’ll tell you…

By Joel ~
| Being Chinese about it | Chinglish | Teaching English |

I like that Chinese people sometimes choose unusual English names or transliterate their names into English (when they can), not because we get to laugh at the occasionally odd results (though that is fun), but because a good Chinglish name often contains some self-expression while still being workable in English (Apple, Moon, Star, Rainbow, etc.); in perhaps an indirect or vague sort of way it expresses part of them and the fact that they’re Chinese and Chinese people do names differently than we do. Why shouldn’t they carve out their own space in the English name landscape? Of course other names, while nice in Chinese, are simply no good in English (Drizzle, Ripple); they’re too strange or silly to actually function as truly usable English names. I’ll let you decide for yourselves which of my current students’ names below have real potential. They’re listed in the order they came to mind:

  • AK (yes, like the gun, she picked it on purpose because she likes guns.)
  • Falcon (formerly Eagle: he had an annoying coworker named after some other kind of bird in Chinese, Sparrow I think, so for his English name he chose a bird that eats his coworker’s kind of bird.)
  • Gaga
  • Florra (She wanted to be different, but a bunch of other Chinese women who also wanted to be different already had the idea of using the Spanish word for flower, so she added an r.)
  • Enya
  • Eack (was supposed to be “Ike”, but somehow he spelled it wrong).
  • Kobe
  • Bryant
  • Carter (we knew a “Spippen” in Taibei).
  • Ray (don’t know why she picked this).
  • Cherry
  • Candy
  • Duke
  • Evian
  • Edword (because he likes words).
  • Win (I forget why she said she picked this)
  • Queena
  • Long (going for “dragon” ()? I don’t know.)
  • Sharpay
  • Coco

(This is exactly why it took me several months before finally settling on a Chinese name.)

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It goes both ways…

By Joel ~
| China: life & times | Chinglish | Culture fun | Learning Mandarin | Olympics |

If you’ve ever wondered what our Chinese sounds like to Chinese people, this movie trailer makes a fine dynamic equivalent:

Man I hope they’re selling $1 copies of this on the street soon!

(P.S. – if you can’t see this video, you can try its original YouTube page: Mad About English! – Official Theatrical Trailer 2008.)

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Community Art Project: interpret this

By Joel ~
| Chinglish | Underappreciated genius |

For our interpretive community. Lots of you are educated in literature and things relating to textual criticism. Surely with our powers combined we can find meaning in this.


Friend
-5′C
because you don’t
force yourself go fall,
you just fall.

Like there are many stars up in the sky, my words for you in this paper resemble tiny bits or seeds.

because you don’t
force yourself go fall,
you just fall.

Cherry! Cherry! Cherry!

My friends

Any and all interpretive attempts are welcome!

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Choosing Chinese Names: more dangerous than you think

By Joel ~
| Being Chinese about it | China books | Chinglish | Cultural perspectives | Culture fun | Learning Mandarin | Lost in translation | River Town |

We are overdue to have Chinese names. But for Westerners, choosing a good Chinese name is harder than you might think. One American that my teacher knows picked her own name, choosing the characters in part based on what looked nice. She didn’t know it, but her named ended up meaning “insecticide.”

People have to call you something, and the average person on the street in China is going to have serious trouble hearing, pronouncing, and remembering most English names (and vice versa in North America).

Chinese given-names also carry relatively more meaning than English names do. Many Chinese are very careful about what name they choose for their children, sometimes even paying professionals to pick the best sounding and most auspicious name. It’s a popular belief that a name can affect a person’s destiny and success.

When Mainland Chinese choose English names, it’s often based entirely on meaning. For example, a friend of ours is teaching several hundred students at a local university. In her classes she has students named: “Star,” “Moon,” “Taste,” “Apple,” “Banana”… and every English teacher here has lists like this. In Taiwan they seemed to do much better with their English names, though we did get a “Grack” and a “Neo.” Often the English teacher gets to give the students their English names. Peter Hessler, author of River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze, used names of his family members and stereotypically African American names like “Shaniqua” to name his students. Other teachers name their students after characters from their favourite TV show (like Jerry, Kramer, Elaine, and George). Sometimes boys accidentally pick girls’ names. In Texas we knew a girl from Macao who changed her English name from Sam to Cinderella when she found out Sam was a boy’s name. “Cinderella” went on to become the first international student (and probably the first non-sorority president) to win Homecoming Queen. We were proud.

So, choosing a Chinese name… How do you avoid getting the Chinese equivalent of Taste, Kramer, or Grack when you are new to the language and it would take decades to learn and feel all the possible meanings associated with potential names?

You could get a Chinese name from your Mandarin teacher. They often give names, sometimes simply assigning the transliteration of the student’s English name on the first day of class. Neither of us want that; transliterated names sound funny to native Mandarin speakers, and the first character of mine is also apparently shared by George Bush. You could also ask (and trust) a really close Chinese friend who knows you well to give you a good one. Jessica I think will go this route. I’m going a third route: pick some ideas/themes that you like, decide if you care more about meaning or phonetic closeness to your English name, and ask a bunch of Chinese friends to suggest some names with explanations. I sent the e-mail out Sunday and suggestions are coming in. I’ll post them when most or everyone has replied.

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Tentacle Pleasures & voice-over work

By Joel ~
| Chinglish | Running wild in the streets |

Two of our student’s parents run a video production company, and they offered for us to do the narrating for a video. I was the man voices; Jessica had the narration and the girl voices. It was fun, and Jessica is like a pro – her parts sound like a real actual voice talent person and she didn’t even blink reading the Chinese names. Mine sound like the people talking are sleepy. We got the script last night but we didn’t know what the video was about. And then, in the first paragraph, we read,

Taiwanese are able to enjoy a complete sense of bliss and satisfaction here, with visual, audio and tentacle pleasures to their bodies and minds.

Blissful and satisfying tentacle pleasures? Just what exactly did we agree to help promote?! Octopus spa therapy, anyone?

I tried to tell Jessica you can’t mess with people’s scripts and she has to say “tentacles,” but she wasn’t buying it.

It ended up being about some kind of design school exhibition where they make everything out of foam. I talked about special foam hangers and design theory. Jessica did the intro and outro and talked about the school and the designers, and foam Christmas trees.

There were a few other edits we made, the next best coming right at the end when Jessica concluded: “They say that the simple life is to have fun – with heart!” It originally said, “…have fun with a heart,” but we told them that’s not quite the same thing.

I hope we get to do more of this – it’s fun and easy, and Jessica is actually really good at it. She sounds like the real deal. They’ll be putting it on a website eventually, so we’ll post the link when we get it.

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A little Chinglish from home

By Joel ~
| Chinglish |

Got this in an e-mail. A family member’s recent discovery at the T&T Supermarket in Surrey, B.C.

I just saw the best translation I’ve seen yet in T&T tonight while wandering around T&T….I was laughing out loud all by myself in the store…:)

“Instant Rice Noodle Ass Flavour” !!! I looked at the box to see what was
under the sign….It was packages of instant ramen soup –beef spare rib
flavour.

Amazing what one letter and a period can do.

ps – Hmmm… speaking of bad translations, we have a Chinese lesson today!

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Chinese English Names in Beijing

By Joel ~
| China: life & times | Chinglish | Culture fun | Cute |

Here’s some mostly mindless, and only slightly insensitive anecdotal culture fun. If that other culture stuff is too dense, then this video is for you! =) An American Jewish girl in Beijing explores the Chinese-people-getting-English-names phenomenon. What she uncovers here in 5 minutes is just scratching the surface. (My favourite is Smacker.)

We’ll eventually post some other “Sexy Beijing” shorts where “Su-fei” interviews an elderly couple and a rural couple couple about marriage.
 

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Scooter slogans you live can’t without…and a break!

By Jessica ~
| Chinglish | Culture fun |

I’ve stepped up on my observations of the local scooter literature. Here are my most recent ones from my walk in the park this afternoon.

Duke: The best racer you are from now on.
Easy: best partner for your life.
Jockey: Join us to ride it!
Jog is fascinating to you.
Jockey: Jockeys ride us!
Going: More you look, more you like it.
Duke: The modern scooter citizen.
Freeway: A scooter you can live with.
Freeway: The shape you want to be in.

Taking a Break

The holiday schedule in Taiwan is, of course, a bit different than N.America. Today we celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival (or Moon Festival), which means we’ll be headed to a couple of barbeques, and we’ve also been sampling traditional and non-traditional (ice cream!) mooncakes. As a result, we don’t have to work today. We do have to work on Saturday, but only the morning class, since so many of our students will be out of town. Also, upcoming next Tuesday is Taiwan’s “National Day” which is also a holiday. That wouldn’t make a big difference for us, as Tuesday is our regular day off….except, the government made a last minute decision to declare Monday a holiday as well, so that everyone could enjoy a 5 day weekend. So, except for Saturday morning, we don’t teach again until Wednesday! And, we’ll have an additional day off next Saturday, because all of our students will be going to their regular schools in order to make up for their “holiday” on Monday, so they won’t be available for our classes.

We’re going to make sure to get out and go hiking and see some stuff…but unfortunately, we won’t get to play too much. Our courses have started and we are swamped with homework and reading, so we’re going to take this chance to get caught up (and maybe even ahead by a little bit!).

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“Nose sh*t”, marijuana, & How to handle public embarrassment in Taiwan

By Joel ~
| Being Chinese about it | Chinglish | Culture fun | Learning | Learning Mandarin | Lost in translation | People |

Today we had swearing, drugs, people that can’t keep their pants zipped, a monk driving a Lexus, and a cat who… ‘went swimming.’

Disclaimer: the Chinese grammar in this post is atrocious, and at this point there’s nothing we can do about.

Nose sh*t & the hazards of language learning
After spending the morning passing out ads for PEI, during which a dog ran up and pee’d on my bag of fliers, we hung out with the college-age group all afternoon. At one point we were talking about names for pets, and one of our good friends (whom we’re not naming) mentioned that in college her friend’s dog was named “Booger” in Chinese. Jessica asked how to say it, of course (can’t pass up a learning opportunity like that!), and our friend answered, “鼻屎.” She knew that we knew (nose), so in a very matter-of-fact kind of way, she added, “ means sh*t.” Jessica, caught slightly off guard, gave a quizzical look.

Our friend repeated with extra clarity: “Sh*t.”

“So it means, ‘Nose sh*t’?” Jessica was beginning to laugh.

“Yes. Nose sh*t.”

Jessica started laughing so hard she almost knocked an old lady off the sidewalk who happened to be passing by.

Now, you have to understand, this particular friend is a leader in the young people’s group, a choir member, a prayer warrior, enthusiastic core member of the congregation… the kind of girl who ditched her boyfriend of 5 years when it became obvious that he was not interested in considering her beliefs. She knew what the word meant, but had no idea what she was saying. She felt a little embarrassed when we explained the various English terms for poop and their shades of meaning, so we haven’t named her here. But next time we’ll talk about meaning and context and everyone will have a good laugh.

It’s a great example of how you can “know” the meaning of a word, but not really understand it. Until you feel it like the natives feel it, you don’t really understand it. Roll that into your exegesis papers and smoke it!

Imported drugs, and more hazards of language learning
And speaking of smoking, we also learned another fine “Why tones are important” lesson at dinner tonight. We ate at a Malaysian food place, and the word used for that particular style of food was dà mǎ. So after the meal, I wanted to say, “Dà mǎ food is very good!” (“大馬吃是很好”.) What I actually said was, “大麻吃是很好” – the 2nd character is different, but I was unaware. The guy I was saying this to, whom we had just met this evening, looked at me blankly while our other friend across the table started laughing.

They explained that “Dà ” (ma with 3rd tone) is the name for the food, and “Dà ” (ma with 2nd tone) means marijuana. I had said, “Marijuana eat is very good!”

“So then,” I asked, “jǐng chá lái shuō nǐ yǒu dà má mā? hé wǒ shuō dà má chī shì hěn hǎo!” [Police come say, you have marijuana? And I say, marijuana eat is very good!]

We all laughed pretty hard. (See that kids? You don’t need to actually take the drugs to have a good time.)

What to do when someone is standing in front of a group speaking, and their fly is wide open.
We went along with about 11 others from the young people’s group to visit an elderly couple in a nursing home this afternoon. We were seated in the lounge waiting for the couple to arrive when a girl in her late 20’s stood up in front of all of us to talk about what we’d do with the couple (sing and stuff). Her fly was 100% unzipped and it was impossible to not notice. She was the only one who didn’t know.

These are situations to which we pay exceptional amounts of attention. What will people do? How and who will react? How will the problem be neutralized? We’ve heard so much about “high-context culture” and “saving face” that we expect different rules to apply in situations like the one this afternoon.

One of the guys in the group stood up and walked to Zhi-ling who was sitting closest to the speaker and whispered to her. Then Zhi-ling whispered to the speaker, who laughed sheepishly, turned around, and promptly… neutralized the problem. Everyone had a quick chuckle of acknowledgment and then we went on. We’ve got plenty of questions about it for Zhi-ling that we’ll ask later. But just in case you wondering, that’s how a group of 20-somethings handled a friend’s public embarrassment in Taiwan.

And, we saw a female Buddhist monk get into a shiny new Lexus and drive off. I’m not sure what to make of that, but something’s going on.

ps – as as I’m typing this, the cat just fell in the toilet. I’m not sure what to make of that either. And this morning she actually flushed it all on her own. What a day!…

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    Pronounced: chǒu wén
    Literally: shameful/ugly/disgraceful news
    Means: scandal

    - 2010/03/03

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    The contents of the greatest tomb in archeological history

    From What's Inside Qin Shi Huang's Tomb?

    "Qin Shi Huang ... ruled the largest unified kingdom the Far East had ever witnessed to that date – the very basis of Imperial China. In military power, economic strength and technical innovation, the Qin ... were all powerful.
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    In What Do They Really Think of Us Laowai?, a delegation member from a foreign NGO that has a longstanding good relationship with the Chinese gov. gets a staight answer.

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