The Nian monster is coming! If you’re a cow, I hope you’re wearing red underwear, for your sake.

Here’s a translated excerpt from part of a lecture by our language school’s headmaster given in simple Mandarin to a bunch of students about the Nian monster (年兽) that’s associated with many Chinese New Year traditions.

“Everyone knows that New Year’s Eve, the 30th day of the twelfth lunar month to the first day of the first lunar month, midnight is the time for eating jiǎozi (饺子). Some of you have passed New Years in Tianjin, right? At that time you can’t hear anything. What sound is outside? The sound of firecrackers. Why do they light firecrackers? ‘Cause it’s fun! Actually, lighting firecrackers has a legend. Of course this legend isn’t real, so we call it a ‘legend’; it’s actually not a real historical thing. Maybe you’ve heard this legend. “Nián” is an animal, a really ferocious animal. But this animal eats everything from extremely small bugs to really big animals. But the Nian, this animal is lazy. Every 365 days it only comes out once, so not very often. And when does it come out? Definitely at night. So, because the Nian monster would be coming out, so in old times (can you guess) what they said the Nian feared? It’s afraid of noise, loud noise, and fire, red fire, light — it’s afraid of these things. So in the past, at New Year’s people had lots of traditions, for example everyone eats together, and the eat the best and richest food. For one night they don’t go to bed, New Year’s Eve they don’t do to bed. Why? Because they think, ‘Fine. We’re all together eating the best food because it’s likely that after we finish eating we’ll be eaten up by the Nian!’ Also, there’s one more reason for not being able to sleep: we can run, right? But this is all just a legend, so the firecrackers are just in order to drive the Nian away and not let him come.”

“Aside from lighting firecrackers, what else do they do? On the outside of the door, the red paper, the purpose in the past was actually in order to make the Nian scared when it saw it. The paper stuck on the entrance, what’s it called? It’s called “Spring Couplets”… On top of the doorframe there’s a horizontal one, and the left and right sides have vertical ones. It uses red paper… so hanging Spring Couplets like this, lighting firecrackers, these both are related to the Nian legend.”

“Concerning wearing red clothes, however actually not everybody wears red clothes. We know Chinese people have 12 categories… This year at New Year’s, cow-category people will what? Wear red clothes. These red clothes include underwear, belts, even socks are red. This we call, “avoid evil spirits”…”

You can read more about the Nian monster story and other Chinese New Year’s traditions here and here.

Related Articles:

• Chinese New Year: a Passover?
• Happy New Year! Congratulations for not being eaten!

One young Tianjiner gets ready to celebrate his first Spring Festival away from home, and talks about the adjustments he’s faced during his first semester in America.

(Guāngyuǎn was profiled last May for the Regular Zhou column in a Tianjin expat magazine. Here he is nine months later, finishing his first semester in Iowa and looking forward to his first Spring Festival on foreign soil.)

Christmas can be one of the toughest times of the year for Tianjin’s foreigners. It’s at Christmas when we often miss our families the most, along with the friends, food, fun, and traditions that make Christmas one of the most meaningful dates on our calendars.

But Tianjin’s wàiguórén (外国人) aren’t the only ones missing out on the major family and cultural event of their year by living in a foreign land. For Tianjiners like Guāngyuǎn (光远), this winter also means passing the most meaningful time of year far away from home. Like us, he’ll be away from his family and closest friends, huddled together with a small group of fellow foreigners, trying to produce a traditional holiday meal without all the proper ingredients in a country that has no clue how to really celebrate the holiday he holds dear.

Spring Festival in the Excited States of America
When I first interviewed Guāngyuǎn early last year, he’d just received acceptance letters from several American university post-graduate engineering programs. He’s since moved to the U.S.A. and is just finishing his first semester at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. That means he’s gone from Big Brother to Uncle Sam; from Tianjin with its 7 or so million to Ames with its almost-51,000; from the Chinese exam-centered education system to America’s emphasis on independent thinking and self-expression. Once he finishes his first semester, it will be time to start preparing for Spring Festival. Here’s how he envisions it:

“In America, I have made a lot of new friends. I think at the first spring festival in USA, I plan to have a good time with my Chinese friends. Maybe to have a party is a great choice for us. Of course, we will invite some American friends and other international students for sure. In the party, I and my friends will cook Chinese foods for us and the customers. Considering that Ames, the location of Iowa State University, is in winter and just like the winter in Tianjin, the hotpot and dumpling, Chinese traditional food, is necessary. At that time, we will enjoy warm food and warm environment.

“Since I was born, I have celebrated every Spring Festival with my parents and relatives. There is no exception for this. I guess, to have Spring Festival is a great experience for me, although I have a little bit homesick. So as what I did (拜年；bài nián; call or visit to wish someone happy New Year) in the last Spring Festival, I will give the call to everyone who cares me and tell them that I am great in America and don’t need to worry about me. Maybe the people in my family will feel different… ‘Where is Guāngyuǎn?’ Haha.”

Living Life Elsewhere
Guāngyuǎn knew that adjusting life in the U.S. wouldn’t be easy, and he shared his feelings about it before he left:

“I worry about the absolutely strange environment, strange people, and strange culture that I will face after I land in the USA, which is full of challenges for me. Therefore I feel excited and nervous.

“I plan to live the community outside the campus, so my roommate and neighbor might be western people. …it is the first step for me to overcome language difficulty and get involve western culture and society. These are related to many living things, like buying the stuff, communicating with native people, and getting used to western living style. …I will face similar problems in the campus. To better understand what the professors talk about, I need not only to ask questions in class but also to communicate with other students after class positively. Other than these, there are great differences with class, homework and exams between American universities and Chinese ones. Above all… culture shock and language are great challenge for me and therefore make me a little bit nervous. But I believe I can do it better as soon as possible. Maybe one day I will feel comfortable to live outside the ‘Chinese culture bubble’ in the future. Every time I think that this day is coming, I am very excited.”

I caught up with Guāngyuǎn for a second time as he was preparing for his semester’s final exams. I asked him about his cross-cultural experience so far, and what sort of impression he’s getting of Americans and life in the States.

Tianjin, China vs. Ames, Iowa
“America’s big cities are noisy and bustling just like China’s, but I’m just at Ames, a small town [population 51,000]. In China this kind of place is considered a small town. It’s really peaceful, so much so that every day you can go out on the street and often not see anyone.”

Daily Life Differences
“When I was in Tianjin and Beijing, I didn’t need to rent house myself. Also students hardly ever needed to cook their own meals. But when I came to the U.S. it wasn’t the same. You have to go yourself and rent an apartment and purchase furniture. Here there are very few Chinese-style vegetable markets, outdoor markets and so on, so every week I have to go once to the supermarket and buy everything. And I still have to learn to cook. Since I’ve arrived here I’m already slowly learning how to cook some things.

“A lot of things are new to me, I’m learning how to go do them. Regular people in China don’t need to use credit cards and checks to make payments, instead they use cash, but in the U.S. it’s just the opposite. In China you very seldom see bills and such, but in one month in the U.S. you will receive every kind of bill (rent, electricity, gas, cell phone, credit card…). Anyway, in the U.S. these are all simple, you can pay everything online. It’s really quick and convenient. Also in the U.S. you have to learn how to find a good deal. Sometimes so many things are so cheap you just stand there amazed. A laptop valued at over 10,000 in China is only 5000 in the U.S. In the U.S., cars are as common as bicycles are in China. If you don’t have a car, you’ll feel it’s really inconvenient. But I’m fortunate to live in Ames where there’s good public transit. But even here driving a car is an essential skill.”

Living with the Yanks
“Americans like things simple and direct, not implicit like Chinese people. Americans first speak their mind and then try to explain themselves. Chinese people are just the opposite. The food American’s like is all simple to make, not like Chinese people who like to prepare meals pan-fried. Thus in the supermarket you can see a lot of half-finished food products (however China domestically now also has this kind of similar trend).

“Americans like to have ‘excuse me,’ ‘sorry’ ready on the tip of their tongue, if they feel they caused someone inconvenience the just blurt it out. In the U.S., grass is for people to walk on, sit on, or lay on – this is really different from China. In the U.S., pedestrians are ‘king’; cars all have to make way for you.”

Comparing the Chinese and American Classroom Experience
“American classroom atmosphere is more vigourous than in China. Students in class can ‘at any time’ ‘call out’ their own viewpoints, problems, and ideas. American education pays particular attention to making students learn to think independently but at the same time learn team cooperation. Here the homework and projects arranged by the teacher all make the students be part of a group to accomplish something. They also ask the students to elaborate on their own points of view, so in class student presentations are a common thing.”

Adjusting to a New Cultural Context
“In life, if you try to learn and imitate you’ll quickly be able to adapt. I feel that concerning the foreign students, the hardest thing to adapt to are the cultural and the educational issues. First of all, being able to use the language is a significant concern. Once you’re able to easily use English to communicate with others, then you’re really able to get over your culture and education shock. To make progress with cultural and educational differences, you also need to actively go with American classmates and communicate for a long period of time. Then you’ll naturally adapt.”

I asked Guāngyuǎn he feels he’s changed a little bit since he’s been in the U.S., but he doesn’t seem to think so: “Actually rather than say I’ve changed personally, it’s better to say I’m just gradually started getting used to American life and study.”

What Does a Tianjiner in America Miss the Most?
“Speaking about what I miss the most, it’s has to be Chinese food, especially the food my mom cooks. When I go back to China I’m going to gobble down special food, but at the same time I need to raise the level of my culinary skills.”

Favourite American Food
“My favourite American food is sweet potato, along with Mexican chicken burrito (seems like that’s Spanish food?). American home-baked cookies are also really good.”

Making Do
“I think, every international student has the same feeling and experience. You and your wife live in China now and don’t come back to the motherland to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas. But this is the life and it is changing. Therefore, we have to adapt and learn to enjoy it.”

Related Articles:

• Meet Guāng Yuǎn (光远)! (a.k.a ‘Shine Far’)
• At the Animal Garden with Shine Far
• Sharing Chinese New Year’s with the neighbours

After arriving in Vancouver a few hours earlier than when we left Beijing, we had a little post-flight run-in with Immigration Canada. Despite questioning the paternity of the child in Jessica’s tummy (the officer was really apologetic about it — they had to make sure she wasn’t trying to get Canadian citizenship for an ineligible child), the immigration officials were actually pretty nice. But getting processed took forever. Canadians living in China or any China expats who will travel to Canada might want to read this.

I didn’t know that there’s a six month limit on foreign visitors to Canada, and Jessica’s an American. Plus it’s complicated: I was born and raised in Canada (dual citizenship). We don’t have a place in China at the moment (we had to move out of the apartment). We haven’t been to Canada in almost three years, and previous to that that we were in the States for university for even longer.

I shouldn’t have put my parents’ address where I grew up as our current residence, or told them that we planned to be in Canada for more than six months. They made us get in a really slow line full of people who don’t know English well enough to fill out their landing cards properly and who apparently also don’t know that you can’t take photos of Immigration Canada operations while waiting in said line (they had to get a translator just to delete the photo off the poor guy’s phone, since the phone all in Chinese).

Canadians living in China take note: put a Chinese address as your current residence, and if you’ve got a foreign wife and want to stay longer than six months, plan a trip to the States within the first six months and when entering Canada tell them that you plan to stay until that trip to the States. Then re-enter a second time from the States. (If you tell them you plan to stay in Canada for more than 6 months but plan a trip to the States during that time, it won’t work.)

PS - Vancouver smells like trees. Aaah…

PPS - And to drunk Canadians on overnight flights who keep everyone on the airplane awake with loud, boring, boorish, and bawdy stories when they want to sleep: I hope the altitude change gives you massive hangover. You earned it. I should’ve put the video I took of you on YouTube with the date and flight number.

On our second-to-last night in Tianjin before an extended stay in Canada, two friends and I went back to the Same Fortune Bathing Garden (同福浴園) to get dizzy in the hot tub and guāshā‘d (刮痧). We ended up getting fire cupped again, too.

Last time we tried the fire suction cups, so this time we thought we’d do guāshā, which is another common Chinese treatment for I’m not sure exactly what… something about your body’s inner fire being too hot or there being too much cold wind in your body. Anyway, for 10 kuai we figured hey why not.

For a description of the bathhouse see the octopus wrestling/fire cupping post. Here I’ll skip straight to the guāshā.

There are three plastic tables in between the hot tubs along one wall and the showers along the opposite wall. That’s where five minutes earlier some older middle-aged guys were getting massaged and soaped down. Me and a Chinese friend come straight out of the hot tub and lay down on two tables, which first get covered in a fresh piece of plastic. The attendant takes my dish towel-sized Chinese towel and wipes down my back before spreading oil on it. Then he starts repeatedly scraping lines into my skin; each line gets maybe ten or more strokes. He doesn’t need the towel while he’s scraping, so he just folds it up and drops it on my butt, which I guess is just convenient.

It doesn’t start to hurt until the last one or two scrapes on each spot. I never saw what he used to scrape with. After he’s made stripes down the length of my spine and rows of stripes across each side of my back, he without warning gives me a quick soap down with the now soapy towel (once down the left side head to toe, once down the right side, and then right up the middle… could have done without that!). Then he rinses me off with a bucket. It only takes ten or fifteen minutes.

While they were guāshā-ing the two of us, the guy suggested we both go get fire cupping (拔火罐儿) since our inner fires were too hot (or something like that). So after a shower to cool down, the three of us all went and got fire cupped. It was like last time, only he used twenty cups this time and stuck them everywhere from the bottom of my neck to the top of my butt. This video is really bad, but you can see his big matchstick and at 0:45 you can hear the suction cups squeaking:

All this happened after a dinner with friends at a superb and inexpensive Sichuan restaurant. Not bad for a second-to-last night in Tianjin (at least for a few months). The hot tub and the just-been-massaged feeling you get after the fire cupping makes you feel really nice and relaxed. The next day it feels like you have a slight sunburn.

PS - added some more photos to Jessica’s birthday karaoke post!

We’re in the middle of moving out of our apartment, getting ready for an extended stay in Canada (there’s a family wedding in Feb, and then we have this baby thing going on). It’s too bad, because Tianjin is gearing up for Chinese New Year!

Chinese New Year’s Terms for You!
Last night was 小年, the official first day of the Chinese New Year holiday season, one week before New Years. Big fireworks stands are being set up on the street corners, and you can hear stray firecrackers going off in the evening. Supermarkets are a nightmare, but not near as bad as the unbelievable line-ups for train tickets.

Since we’re leaving before Spring Festival, we went to Mr. Song’s and Mrs. Li’s last night to 拜个早年. I’m not sure how to translate that, but it means making your New Year’s visit early. We brought them a bunch of chocolate chip peanut butter cookies that Jessica baked, and some photos from when we’d spent time with them. We still don’t have a feel for all the proper social cues and stuff, but it’s so nice to at least have a little bit more of a clue. Comparing last night’s visit with our first visits make us feel better about our language progress (though we still have a looong way to go).

Giving Gifts in China
Some ways are better than others when giving gifts in China. At our language school, when students bring a few cookies or brownies or whatever for their teachers they often commit a little faux pas. Bringing two cookies wrapped in plastic wrap that are just enough for your teacher isn’t the best way to go. It looks tiny, like leftovers, and it’s not enough for her to share with her friends or co-workers. If you’re going to bring cookies for your teacher, it’s better to give her enough to share in the break room, and it needs to look good (wrapped up neatly, etc.).

We filled a colourful cookie tin with cookies and piled some on a plate that was tied up with a ribbon, and put all that in a gift bag. Mr. Song was really pleased with it, and displayed in the living room. It looks good, and there’s enough for them to share with their relatives and friends that will visit during Spring Festival, and when they share them they can say their foreign friends gave them to them.

Time for bed. If there’s time tomorrow night I’ll write about going back to the bathhouse and getting guasha‘d with some friends.

For Jessica’s birthday we had a karaoke party with a bunch friends:

If you haven’t been to a good Chinese karaoke party yet, you’re missing out! Here’s some photos and fun video clips.

Piao Laoshi’s Korean boyfriend gives Jessica a “Happy Birthday Jessica!” shout out in the middle of his song, and elicits praise from some of the ladies who start chanting his name:

Liu Wei, Greg, Dingle and Zhou Jun give a heartfelt(?) rendition of Air Supply’s All Out Of Love:

Cute (they’re engaged):

Jessica got some cute stuffed cows as gifts, since 2009 is the year of the cow.

The cake says, “Happy Birthday, Lin Yi An” (生日快乐林怡安；shēngrì kuàilè lín yí ān). Yí-ān is Jessica’s Chinese name.

Some great newsreels showing Beijing in the 30′s, and how Americans presented it in their media, are available here.

Pronounced: wǒ bèi léi le
Means: “I’m thundered!”

This internet slang is now entering popular usage among young people. To be “thundered” means to be shocked, appalled, terrified, “floored,” etc. by something or someone. You can also make it an adjective (很雷人), but I don’t know how that’d be in English (something can be really “thundering” / “thunderous” / “thundery” / “thunderish”?) . Other examples:
我被雷到了！
我被他雷了！
[a]把[b]雷到了！

All these photos are from within the last couple weeks, some from yesterday. The translations are definitely suspect.

“Donkey meat take-out”
Trying to read signs pays off. I recently ‘discovered’ that there’s a donkey meat restaurant on my way to the gym. Donkey meat is good!

“Donkey meat take-out” / 外卖 驴肉 / wài mài lǘ ròu

“No making a ruckus”
From a nearby vegetable market:

“Civilly do business, compete fairly, it’s forbidden in the market to make a noisy ruckus”
文明经商，公平竟争， 市场禁止喧哗吵闹
wénmíng jīngshāng, gōngpíng jìng zhēng, shìchǎng jìnzhǐ xuānhuá chǎonào

Civilized bus riding
From a bus stop in Beijing:

“Please line up and wait for the bus, civilly swipe your card, orderly get off the bus”
请排队候车，文明刷卡，顺序下车
qǐng páiduì hòu chē, wénmíng shuā kǎ, shùnxù xià chē

“Orderly get on the bus, politely take your seat, respect the old and cherish the young, civilly ride the bus”
有序上车，礼貌上座，尊老爱幼，文明乘车
yǒu xù shàng chē, lǐmào shàng zuò, zūn lǎo ài yòu, wénmíng chéng chē

Nothing that special; I was just happy that I could actually read something! We were in Beijing seeing friends that we hadn’t visited for over a year. Last time we had to speak mostly in English and couldn’t read signs like this. This time we used 99.9% Chinese and could get around no problem.

“Harmonious Tianjin”
Post-Olympics Tianjin banners on the left (not the best translation):

“With this well-loved place, establish a happy homeland /
Harmonious Tianjin, Joyful New Year’s Day”
同在一方热土，共建美好家园 / 和谐天津，欢度元旦
tóngzài yī fāng rè tǔ, gòng jiàn měihǎo jiāyuán / héxié tiānjīn, huān dù yuándàn

On the right, one of the many surfaces on Tianjin University campus completely covered in ads for daily/hourly rental bedrooms. There’s a booming market in daily/hourly use rooms and “love hotels” near college campuses in China.

Curse you, Beijing signage!
They told us we’d need to learn characters in China, but they never mentioned night vision! Us and a bunch of other people looking for the Beijing South Train Station wandered around last night in sub-zero temperatures in the wind following conflicting signage and conflicting directions from random passerbyers until we backtracked and took a closer look at this particular sign, or more specifically, the home-made one beside it, which says the train station is the other way:

Nice that they scribbled out the arrow for us! (Construction has made the area a little chaotic, and the bus routes and stuff apparently haven’t been changed yet.)

This report in the Globe and Mail is about what China is doing in Papua New Guinea and its impact on the local population.