The Washington Post has a series of videos and articles on how rapid and far-reaching social changes are affecting China’s families, with specific focus on women & divorce, filial piety & care for the elderly, rural families of migrant workers, rural women & suicide, and illiteracy.

A pile of Chinese celebrities sing together in this (pretty cool, I think) Olympic welcome theme song music video (English subtitles). This is the impression millions of Chinese hope the world will have:

The (unofficial) subtitles on the video are a little Chinglish-y, but in an endearing, “so China” kind of way. Plus, Jackie Chan is so cute; how can anyone not like Jackie Chan? They even give Tianjin a few seconds of face ;) (we live right near where they took those TV Tower shots!).

And here’s the “live” (ahem) version, which was somewhat controversial, not because of the lip-syncing, but because of the they way they rather obviously avoided giving closeups to particular celebrities who had fallen out of favour. Our teachers thought it was stupid that they did that. But everyone still loves the song.

There are many different hopes, dreams, and worries associated with the Olympics, inside and outside of China, and everyone knows China’s had a rough time on the P.R. side of things. Despite all the conflicting messages, mutual suspicions, and controversy (conveniently outlined by a China-friendly foreigner here), we hope that when it’s all over, there will be a lot of satisfied 老百姓 in China.

This article explores various outbursts of nationalistic rage seen in Mainland China over the last decade and as recently as this year: “Xenophobia and nationalism have long roots in China [...] ‘Western criticisms of China generate feelings of anger and insecurity precisely because so many Chinese desire Western recognition and respect,’ said Gries, director of the University of Oklahoma’s Institute for U.S.-China Issues. [...] ‘Tightening of the Open Door policy has always been just a matter of time,’ the consultant said.“

Despite many good intentions, China is having a rough time with their pre-Olympic P.R. This China-friendly foreign journalist neatly outlines the perceived mixed-messages caused by inadvertent and deliberate pre-Olympic actions of Beijing:

  “I am a Friend of the Chinese People! And … I want to have a good time when the Games begin. But … I’m puzzled by a series of deliberate and inadvertent decisions that, if you didn’t know better, you might think were designed to turn the whole spectacle into a source of friction rather than pride for China.“

My teachers recently shared these jokes in class.

(1) A terrorist from the Middle East comes to China and wants to blow up a city. First he goes to Beijing, but after seeing all the culture and history he decides it would be a shame to destroy it, so he doesn’t blow up Beijing. Then he goes to Guangzhou, but after seeing all the international investment he decides it would be unwise to make all the Western countries angry, so he doesn’t blow up Guangzhou. Finally he comes to Tianjin, but after looking around he decides he’s arrived too late – it’s already a pile of rubble and chaos!

I thought that was a little harsh on Tianjin, but I didn’t make it up, and apparently making fun of Tianjin is something they do occasionally in Beijing. And I don’t know what kind of terrorists care so much about history and culture and not making Western nations angry, but anyway. The next joke uses some Chinese.

(2) University students make word plays on an advertising slogan for bottled water to express the despair they feel toward their lack of future job prospects. I’ll write them vertical so you can see the changes in the characters and the tones. Original first, despairing students’ version underneath:

农夫山泉，有点甜！
农妇，山泉，有点田！

Nóng fū shān quán，yǒu diǎn tián!
Nóng fù, shān quán, yǒu diǎn tián!

Nongfu Mountain Spring, a little sweet!
Peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field!

The idea being that since job prospects are so bad for graduates, they may as well give up their dreams, go to the countryside, marry a peasant girl, and farm a little plot of land. That might not sound so bad to some of you, but remember there are reasons millions of rural Chinese migrate out of the countryside and choose backbreaking labour in the cities over what they’re leaving behind.

Here’s two photos from this week. I got stuck in the mother of all rainstorms with two friends on the way to a majiang (麻将) party Sunday evening. The sky in one direction was black like the end of the world and the rain was blowing up our rain ponchos. Of course you can’t get a taxi in that kind of weather, so after standing on the edge of a major intersection in a brown river waving my arms around for fifteen minutes (their idea), we gave up. They went home, and I went on to lose a lot at majiang. The photo’s from when I arrived.

Last night we had dinner in a restaurant with friends before the weekly dancing, and that night every table got a free plate of duck feet! Jessica long ago quit being intimidated by such things, and didn’t hesitate to give them a shot.

Today the spring semester ended. Monday we start the summer semester. My teacher and I devised a special Mandarin Boot Camp daily regimen for the summer that should hopefully help me retain the vocab, grammar, and characters better.

We first heard about 人肉搜索引擎 while living in Taiwan. Way too similar to the 1970’s for my comfort; it’s the G.P.C.R. 2.0!
 
Human flesh search engines: Chinese vigilantes that hunt victims on the web
 
“…every detail of Ms Gao’s life, from her home and work address… to the fact that her parents were divorced, was dug up and published on hundreds of forums and chatrooms.
 
‘Now humiliate her,’ ordered one internet user, Yang Zhiyan.

With their vast number of participants and angry nature, these witch hunts for a digital age are a uniquely Chinese phenomenon.” [Full article]

“…enduring hardship — or “eating bitter,” as Chinese like to say — is just as important as overcoming it. The rugged farmers of Sichuan have developed a reputation for being even abler than the rest of their countrymen in this respect. And since the quake struck, they have earned their reputation anew.
 ”Our mothers and fathers teach us from an early age,” explained Jiang Mixiao, 45, whose apartment building in Dujiangyuan, just northwest of Chengdu, was flattened by the quake. “We all know how to eat bitter.”“

(Yes, this may be potty humour, but it’s potty humour with cultural insight!)

It’s normal to see signs posted above the urinals in Tianjin public washrooms, usually encouraging people to be more 文明 about it (civilized). Last June we gave high marks for humour to a moon landing-inspired urinal slogan: “One small step forward (for a man), one great leap for civilization.”

One year later, we’re back with the potty humour courtesy of the trendy and expensive E-Mart shopping centre, which is located across the street from the brand-spanking-new Olympic stadium. This June’s urinal slogan gets high marks for subtlety and for giving the urinal user face. Plus, it comes with a story! Rough translation below.

A sick person complains in tears to a doctor, “Doctor, every evening my neighbour’s dog barks incessantly, I’ve already not slept for three days, it’s driving me crazy, what can be done?”

The doctor calmly explained. Over the last few days, this person both looks for a doctor and is clearly [...more distressed?...] than last time. The doctor asked oddly, “Your face is even worse-looking than last time, could it be that the the medicine I gave you wasn’t useful?”

The sick person said, “Oh, it’s not like that at all. Dear doctor, it’s just that no matter how I use whatever method, my neighbour’s dog just won’t eat the sleeping pills you gave me!”

Take one step forward, you’ll be able to see more clearly

一为病人向医生哭诉：”大夫，每天晚上我邻居家的狗 都叫个不停，我已经有三天没睡觉了，我快要疯了怎 么办？”

医生很平静地说。过了几天，这个人又去找医生而且 显然比上一次…悴。医生很费解的问：”你的脸比上次 更加难看了，难道我给你的药不管用吗”

病人说：”哦，并不是这样，亲爱的大夫，只是无论我 用什么法，邻居家的狗就是不吃您给我开的安眠药！”

向前一步，您会看得更清楚

So they address the problem is an indirect way, preserving the face of the target audience in the process. Of course everyone knows what it’s really about, but that’s not the point. The problem gets addressed and we can all still pretend there’s no problem.

I realize that potty humour is a little crass, and it’s also not very polite for me highlight embarrassing aspects of our host country. I’m justifying this one on the grounds of cultural insight (specifically, the method of dealing with a problem), and because public washrooms, like the traffic, are one of the most shocking parts of the experience for visiting foreigners.

Olympics here we come!

Means: toilet (but, like in English, you usually use other terms when actually needing to “go to the bathroom” because “toilet” is too explicit.
Pronounced: mǎ tǒng
Literally: “horse bucket.”

It’s no secret that Chinese kids today are easily the fattest Chinese generation since the Tang dynasty, and maybe even the fattest ever. The 4.5 minute video McBeijing uses Màidāngláo’s popularity to provide a great anecdote of how much Chinese society has changed so fast in just one generation. It’s all that foreign spiritual pollution! or something…