Speaking of foreign gong shows, this is funny story from a foreigner in Shanghai, written to his cousin about learning and working in Chinese in the 1860′s. From one of our China history texts:

“Most foreigners who come to China have the notion that in a year they will master the language. They get a teacher and pound away vigorously for a week or perhaps a month and then give up in disgust.”

Accordingly, they made ludicrous mistakes which negated all their endeavors. He told his cousin of hearing a foreign speaker in Shanghai trying to tell his Chinese audience that ‘Jesus is here also’; the speaker, mudding his tones and aspirates, succeeded only in assuring the puzzled listeners that ‘Jesus is inside shaving his head.’

“If I could have it my way, not a single foreigner should say one word in public teaching till he had lived with the people and studied the local dialect of his area at least five years, and passed an examination. Just imagine the ridicule which such people bring…” [Edited slightly]

No doubt we’ll amass many of our own such episodes… I think we probably already have a good start with the marijuana , the question about the monk, and whatever else people are too polite to tell us about. Our sessions with the tutor are supposed to start next week; that will make it a little nuts since our grad classes start at the same time and the ESL semester is in the start-up-chaos phase, but it will be sooo worth it!

First a rant, then a rave.

Sometimes Western foreigners can be a total gong show*. We (Westerners) can be helpless, clueless, self-absorbed and offensive all at once and yet still be blissfully oblivious about any of it. And the people we’re imposing on/offending don’t have culturally-appropriate ways to explicitly call us on it; they’re stuck putting up with it/us for that and other reasons.

With our friends/co-workers/employers here there’s only been one instance where I actually noticed someone say something that implicitly indicated that they were annoyed/offended. I assume there’s been other times and that I just missed them.

Like in North America only much more so, daily relationships and arrangements are navigated in a dance of implicit cues and clues. When foreigners are unaware of the things being implied what often happens is that our Chinese friends and co-workers end up bending over backwards far beyond what’s reasonable to help us with stuff we should be able to do on our own, often while absorbing culturally offensive comments and actions in the process. Typically it’s assumed here that if someone asks for help, they really really need it, so you’ll make huge sacrifices to help them out and you can expect them to do the same for you when you really really need help. Throw a foreigner into the mix who casually asks for favours and assumes people will say no if they need to, and you get situations like what’s described above.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. So did Jessica.

I love the mid-afternoon thunderstorms here. One’s booming and drenching the neighbourhood right now. It pours buckets for an hour or two in the middle of an otherwise suffocatingly hot day. The windows fog up and collect condensation on the outside because the a/c makes it colder and more dry indoors, sort of like in North America during winter only in reverse.

*The use of this term is dedicated to Joanna and Julia.

We brought two packages of mapleleaf-shaped maple-flavoured cookies from Canada to the big weekly Sunday lunch yesterday. Everyone welcomed us back warmly and seemed a little tickled that we’d thought to bring something. Some people said they liked the cookies and most of them got eaten, but we saw two different people bite into them and make a face and three other people shared one between them. It was kind of funny. We knew that sweet stuff was generally a bad gift and that these cookies were beyond sweet for what most people here are used to. Dessert here is fruit; red beans are considered sweet. We didn’t bring any maple syrup because we knew they wouldn’t like it. But we were desperate for something “Canadian” that could serve a big group. I’m betting they’ll like the dulce and the beef jerky better.

Couldn’t sleep past 5am, so I headed out to the park around 6:30. The sun was already up and the park was busy as usual: tai-chi, sword dancing, fan dancing, dog walkers, daily gossip parties, basketball, and older folks sitting and watching it all. Mr. Weng was there near the exercise bars, so I delivered the first of our gifts: some Canadian Maple-flavoured tea and some dulce. I’ve never eaten dulce but apparently it’s Canadian and in Taiwan they love seaweed, so we’re guessing it’s a safe bet for a gift. Our cultures are so different and there’s so little that’s distinctly Canadian that it’s hard to find “Canadian” food that they’ll actually enjoy. Plus, 99% of the Canadian souvenir stuff and clothing says “Made in China” on it, so finding good gifts was a small challenge. I think we did alright though; we’ll be delivering the rest over the next few days as we see our friends again.

The people in the park said I was black. Never had that before. I could hear one of them talking about “the foreigner from Canada” but had to ask Mr. Weng what they were saying.
“He says you are black.”
“Black?”
“Brown.” [points to my face and arm]
“Ah, brown from the sun.”
“Yes.”
I’m guessing suntans are generally a bad thing here, judging from the number of umbrellas in use on sunny days.

We taught an English action song to about 40 kids at a VBS yesterday morning, and we’re doing the same thing again this morning (“No rest for the wicked” as my dad likes to say). Yesterday was “I am a C-H-…” I was worn out; we were still jet-lagged and we made them spell the letters with their bodies while they sang the song. I can’t spell that fast, or dance, but we all had a good time and it had something to do with English so our assignment was accomplished. This morning in just over an hour is “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” so I’d better get in the shower.

We’re back in Taipei. Good flight, 4 seats all to ourselves, had dinner at the school and are finally taking showers and going to bed. We start working tomorrow. The internet is a little messed up, so it will be a bit before we’re regularly back online.

We’re back from camping on the West Coast – lots of sun, s’mores, ocean, and relaxing with family. After a whole week away from the computer, I’m in no hurry to get back online. There are two new picture galleries: one from visiting friends and family in Texas and one from camping on the Sunshine Coast.

That’s about all the computer I can take right now. With only days left before we leave for Taiwan, start work, and start our last semester of school, I’m trying to avoid the computer as much as possible.

Well, we’re back in BC, which means that most of the people we spent time with this week in Texas, we probably won’t see again for another few years. In so many ways, this is exciting…because we’re at the age and stage of life where we and so many of our friends are beginning to spread our wings, move to the places that we’ve dreamed of and prayed about, and see what happens when we get there. It’s a little sad too, because we’ve been blessed with amazing friendships and relationships from our years in T.F.M.C. It seems like there is never quite enough time to spend with anyone, and it’s always hard to say goodbye. We’re exhausted, but so thankful for another week of sharing life together with those that we love. Thanks to all of our friends in T.F.M.C. for being such an encouragement to us, for challenging us to keep growing, for affirming us, and for your prayers. We love all of you so much!

It’s also a little bittersweet to realize that this weekend with my family is the last one we’ll have for a little while. Today, I was holding my 18-month old niece and realized that the next time she sees me, she probably won’t remember me. I snuggled my mom on the couch for a few minutes, soaking up her sweet and gentle presence, and remembering the hours I’ve spent on her lap. I relived another small piece of childhood with my sister while we made our family’s traditional “no-bake” oatmeal cookies. Together, we’re like the SWAT team of no-bake cookie making…a million batches made together have made us an efficient and well-oiled team and while we can make them by ourselves, it works better (and is WAY more fun) to do it together. Over the course of the weekend, I wished that my dad and my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews could be with us…but it was still such a good time. We love you family….thanks for a great weekend, and for all the ways that you love us and support us.

Now we’re off to go camping with Joel’s family somewhere on the coast of BC. We’re bringing lots of books with us, our stunt kites, and NO laptops. We’ll update you sometime next Sunday or Monday when we get back. :)

While I haven’t written in a while, I seem to have abundantly more spare time on my hands than I had planned for tonight. Due to a conspiracy between the weather and Continental Airlines, Joel and I are trapped at the George Bush “Intercontinental” Airport in Houston, TX until tomorrow morning’s first flight out to Vancouver. So, we’re camped out in front of the Presidents Club, which is the prime location from which to filch the “President’s Club Only” wireless internet signal. If you’re ever stuck in an airport with a laptop, just look around for the President’s Club and see if you can latch onto a smidgen of their signal. Especially if you have HOURS to kill, as we do tonight.

Our flight from Dallas to Houston was interesting…the most turbulent I’ve ever been on. I wondered for a bit if we were actually at Six Flags, in some airplane shaped amusement ride. No…it was a real airplane and we were seated in the very last seats, where we REALLY felt the bumps. The best part was when we hit this HUGE bump and my coffee splashed upwards hitting the ceiling of the aircraft and splattering everywhere. I wish I’d had it on video!!! Surprisingly little of it landed on me, which was a good thing considering the number of hours I’m going to be wearing these clothes.

Edited to add…we also just saw security arrest some lady. Not exactly sure what was going on, but she was definitely agitated. As they handcuffed her, she was yelling something about Chop-suey, Pakistanis, Japan, her boyfriend and a poodle. Should be an interesting night, to say the least!